


Emergency Programme

by mommyisageek



Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-12
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 12:35:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1132717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mommyisageek/pseuds/mommyisageek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He can't stop thinking about the moment she almost died.  He can't let it happen again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Emergency Programme

It’s late. Well, as relatively late as it gets when you’re talking about things like time and space travel and your days don’t necessarily follow in the normal hour-to-hour, sunrise-to-sunset pattern of human Earth. After the “day” they had, he’d sent Rose to bed. Hadn’t given her a choice. She would have fallen asleep on her feet before too long anyway. He’s working at the console – usually it’s enough to keep him busy and distract him from those things he doesn’t like to think about – and cannot concentrate.

He’s trying. He wants to focus on anything else. He’s shaken by it, the moments with the Slitheen, that missile, the ruins of Downing Street when they emerged replaying themselves over and over, and he cannot figure out why it makes him shiver. It’s nothing new. It was just a day in his life, like so many others. Always running, always saving (or trying to), seemingly always in danger.

But not her.

Amazingly, he’s quite protective of her. Wasn’t on purpose (of that much (and little else, at the moment) he is certain) but he’s grown protective of her, desperate to shield her from anything that might in any way harm her. He had found himself today, staring at that red light on the telephone, hearing that horrible voice tell him “Don’t you dare…” actually agreeing with the woman.

He didn’t dare. He couldn’t dare. He couldn’t risk her.

But she told him to and he did and it worked (like, of course, it should have and he would always, always tell her he always knew it would) and he should be happy because they Slitheen are gone and the world is safe again. Well, safe as it’s going to be.

So why can’t he shake this feeling that something’s changed, that something’s broken? Something that cannot be fixed?

He sits up, gives up on the console that doesn’t actually need tinkering anyway. His head falls into his hands and he presses the heels of his palms into his eyes, trying to force himself to focus on the pressure. Focus on anything but the thought that keeps running around his brain.

You have to keep her safe.

“Bah, I know that,” he answers himself out loud, as if someone else might actually hear him and maybe tell him this is okay.

That it is okay for him to keep putting her in harm’s way because he’s too stubborn to let her go home.

He would never say it out loud, he would never admit it to anyone – he doesn’t even usually admit it to himself – but somewhere, deep down, he knows that he needs her. Even more so than she needs him.

There’s a sound from the console and he jumps at it, eyes automatically on the blinking red light above him.

Of course.

He thinks for a moment and know she’s right. She always is. The TARDIS…well, she’s a smart one.

The emergency protocol.

And with that, in a flash, he’s on his feet, pressing buttons, keying in coordinates, saving information and telling that big beautiful blue box so many things at once. Finally, he stops in one place, takes a deep breath, stands up straight, and tries, so hard, to speak around the catch in his throat.

“This is Emergency Program One.” He pauses for one moment, gathers himself, knowing that, should she hear this, right this moment, she is on the verge of breakdown. “Rose, now listen, this is important. If this message is activated, then it can only mean one thing. We must be in danger. And I mean fatal. I'm dead or about to die any second with no chance of escape.” He smiles, because he knows what happens then. She doesn’t, but he does. He would be okay. But she might not be, and, above all else now, she must be kept safe.

“And that's okay. Hope it's a good death. But I promised to look after you, and that's what I'm doing.” He swallows, hard, trying to dislodge the lump forming in his throat. “The TARDIS is taking you home. And I bet you're fussing and moaning now.” He smiles again. “Typical. But hold on and just listen a bit more. The TARDIS can never return for me. Emergency Program One means I'm facing an enemy that should never get their hands on this machine. So this is what you should do. Let the TARDIS die. Just let this old box gather dust. No one can open it. No one'll even notice it. Let it become a strange little thing standing on a street corner. And over the years, the world'll move on and the box will be buried. And if you want to remember me, then you can do one thing. That's all, one thing.” He stops for a moment because the lump has threatened to overtake him and there are tears – where in the world did those come from? – actually pulling at his eyes. He shakes his head and goes on, because there is one more thing he needs her to know, were he to never speak to her again. “Have a good life. Do that for me, Rose. Have a fantastic life.”

He stops. After a moment, the light stops blinking and he looks up beyond it to see the console testing the program, making sure the recording plays perfectly.

A hologram. 

He can only hope that’s not actually the last thing she ever seems of him.

Suddenly there’s a loud noise ringing through the console room, echoing on all the walls. A distress signal; a call for help. He’s at the controls, hologram gone, trying to find it, and hears her feet.

It woke her up.

“What is it? Is something wrong?”

“Not with her,” he says with a smile and cocks his head. “Someone out there’s in trouble. And we’re,” He turns to her and grins. “We’re going to go help them.” She’s laughing and right there with him, just like she always is.

He’s made his decision. He can’t take any more chances, not with her. If the time comes, and, if he’s honest with himself, he’s sure it will, someday, well….he’ll push the button and let her go.

To protect her. Even if it kills him.

But not today.


End file.
